The Importance of Cooperation
What is cooperative behavior?
The dictionary defines cooperative behavior as the interaction of two or more persons or organizations directed toward a common goal which is mutually beneficial. In real life this manifests as sharing toys, taking turns on the swing, following instructions to build an IKEA bed. Cooperative behavior also involves tolerating the choices of others in a way that is mutually beneficial. For example:
Your sister chooses a show to watch tonight and you get to choose a show tomorrow
We can’t listen to Let it Go every on repeat in the car but we can listen to it once each time we get in the car
Sometimes you get to pick the restaurant and sometimes your spouse does
Why is it important?
You might have noticed that cooperative behavior tends to involve delayed reinforcement. If you aren’t getting you choice or turn right away, how are you benefiting from waiting?
You might not get your first choice this time, but you will next time. Engaging in all or nothing, my way or the highway thinking, you are essentially closing yourself off to meaningful relationships.
Engaging in cooperative behavior helps set the stage for success in school, social interactions and future work life. Cooperative behavior helps create a happier life because the ability to be flexible opens up new opportunities.
Why do we see a lack in cooperative behavior?
Part of behavior analysis is analyzing why a behavior is or is not occurring. Sometimes we observe a lack in cooperative behavior because of an increase in escape/avoidance behaviors. If your child has come to associate demands with work, they may engage in behaviors that will allow them to escape demands.
Your child might need help navigating the demand. He or she might be overwhelmed with too many instructions. Maybe the instructions are too vague. Perhaps transitioning from one task to another is challenging.
How can we facilitate cooperative behavior?
In order to set our children up for success, we need to make things predictable and simple. This doesn’t mean do everything for them or remove all demands in order to avoid challenging behaviors. Instead, we present them with consistent expectations, provide choices when possible, and present effective instructions.
This could look like:
Utilizing the same bed time routine every night
Giving them a choice of 2 songs to listen to after their favorite song
Set clear boundaries: If you throw toys, you will be removed from the play area for 5 min.
Facilitating social interaction and communication with peers and siblings is a socially significant way to facilitate cooperative behavior.
What are effective instructions?
There are six components to effective instructions:
Attention
make sure you have their attention before presenting an instruction
Present instructions as statements
Politely asking for cooperation opens up the possibility for a refusal
“It’s time to get in the car” instead of “Do you want to get in the car?”
Break it down!
Make sure instructions are short and sweet
Present one step at a time
Get your coat
Bring me your coat
Put your arm in the coat
Lower the demand
If you forgot any or all of the above and your child is struggling to cooperate, lower the demand
Instead of putting all the Legos in a basket, have him put one in the basket. You clean up the rest and you both move on. No power struggles, no grudges, no “do it because I said so”.
We can be flexible and compromise too!
We can Lessen the demand without giving in to challenging behaviors. Maintain the original demand but to a lower extent. This could look like decreasing quantity or duration. Remember, your are your child’s first teacher so modeling cooperative behavior is a great way to teach it!
Disclaimer: Advice presented on this page is not meant to replace individualized therapy, does not constitute a patient client relationship, and reflects the thoughts of the author alone.
